i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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