I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I skipped work to stalk him.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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