i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Operation Purity has been aborted
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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