she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
