I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
