yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
