is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
