We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
