did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
