Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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