have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
