So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
