i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think your dad took our porno
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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