She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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