She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
This house was built for laser tag.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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