Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
