There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have post one night stand depression
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
