no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
