FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
