Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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