So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
