She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
