I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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