I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So many bounce houses so little time
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
