whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
