bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
