I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
