i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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