then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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