I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
