i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize