Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
