Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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