He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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