I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
this is an emotional support booty call
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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