all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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