Yo dont text me then not text me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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