I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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