the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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