AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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