I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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