I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
