before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
