Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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