And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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