so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
