We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
