Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize