you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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