he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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