We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
