so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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