Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
