I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
