I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
