I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
