Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
