She's JV to your varsity
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
