dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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