I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
