he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
