you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
areolas are like halos for boobs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
